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The Wacky Cook is witnessing the loosening of restrictions and is hoping for the lockdown to end soon, however she is still not cooking. Here is another short story by Debbie Morgenstern.

Here We Go Again!!!

They were going away for a few days to their hide-away in the Judean Hills - a bit of a change, a bit of thinking in the clear air up there - always wonderful for the soul if not really useful for anything else and as the food is always bad up there, they knew that they would probably come back a bit lighter as well, which in their case was always a plus. As they were checking in, they were told that, as a surprise, they had been given one of the new rooms with a large Jacuzzi in it. "Hmm" said she to him, hating the thought of bubbly water moving around her. But he made no comment.

On the first afternoon of their stay, he thought that he would give the "tub" a try, filled it up, plopped some bubbles into it, poured himself a large cognac and lit a sizeable cigar. Finally, flopping into the bubbles, sighing deeply, he said to her: "All I need now is a good movie on the TV". And God being close by - the place being so near Jerusalem - and listening that day, she found just the right film for him to watch! So, there he was, puffing, sipping and bubbling cheerfully, while watching an old classic movie on TV.

"Ah" he said he to her, sighing deeply with contentment. "This, here, is the life!"

"This, here, my good fellow, is decadence in the Judean Hills, total decadence..." said she to him, wondering how anybody could be so happy with just a few bubbles.

But it started her thinking. They had no bathtub at home and he really did seem to enjoy his "decadence" every afternoon that they spent up there. "My best thinking is done while bubbling away here in this tub" said he to her at one point. Why not try and create this pleasure at home? They had thrown out their bathtub years ago and created a much needed second toilet, but now, when she thought about it, maybe they could put one of those small-sit-down-baths into the bathroom... Maybe they had them now in the country. They were both not getting any younger, she argued with herself while swimming her laps. There was definitely space for a small bath in their bathroom, maybe they could even fit in a Jacuzzi?... He could sit and bubble away on top of Tel Aviv and do his serious thinking...

She was coming home one day, waiting at the crossing to get to her side of the street, when a huge truck that was parked at the curb suddenly came to life and out of its depth a small-sit-down-bath was hoisted up! She couldn't believe her eyes! She looked again. No denying it. Under all the plastic wrapping was a small bathtub... A sign! A real sign from up there! Somebody up there wanted her to put a bathtub into her bathroom... Absolutely! Like an idiot, she decided to follow the tub, but that proved impossible, as it was hoisted up and up and disappeared somewhere high into the building.

As she stood there in the street, quite perplexed, a neighbor stopped beside her and wanted to know what's up. "The tub!" she said quickly. "The what?" now it was the neighbour's turn to be perplexed. "The bathtub!" she told her. "Is it yours? Did it go to your flat? I hear you just redid your flat."

This was becoming quite confusing; the neighbour looked kindly at her and said: "Look, I don't know what you're talking about. I just threw out a bathtub! Yes, redid my flat, come and take a look what we've done." And before she knew it, she was sitting in her neighbour's flat with a drink in her hand and was being told about this job that those wonderful people had done. The neighbour insisted on giving her the telephone numbers of all the people involved. Since when were her neighbours so charming and helpful, she wondered silently... For over thirty years there was no more then a curt nod from one and all; if she did not greet them first, they just walked past her. What was happening?...

Shaking her head, she went home and told her Lord and Master all about it.

"OK" he said to her. "Let me phone the architect and see what the man has to say, shall we start with that?"

After speaking with the architect for a while, he came over to her and said: "Now listen to me. Sure he can do it. And he wants to do it. And Why not? It's a great job! Starting with completely destroying the bathroom..."

"Stop," she practically shouted at him: "No way!"

They looked at each other, both remembered the last upheaval in their lives, the change of a sink in the kitchen, which had somehow created a disturbance that had destroyed the complete flat they thought was perfect, when their architect had thought it needed to be "improved". The remembered the promise they had made to each other: never, ever to live through such a horror again!...

There would be no new tub, they decided, small or regular-sized, no matter. The "decadence" she had wanted to provide for him at home would not have worked anyway. One needed the Judean Hills for that, with the knowledge that Jerusalem was shimmering just around the corner.

Send your questions to The Wacky Cook: email: debbiemorgenshtern@gmail.com

Debbie Morgenstern is the author of "My Life in Israel" and other short stories.
"My Life in Israel" can be purchased by accessing this link: "My Life in Israel"