Debbie's Succot Gefilte fish.

Shana Tova to you all! Remember I told you about the best fish in the world? Complements for at least 6 months? Time to tackle those fish balls... Here goes.

We are now in full swing of the holidays and it is action time for us all...Go to your fishmonger and tell him that you need 5-kilo of chopped carp. He will tell you not to be ridiculous; you could not possibly need so much fish.. it's a huge amount and what would you do with all that fish anyway?...Be nice. Tell him that you need 50-60 fish balls ... you have lots of people who love gefilte fish made out of HIS fish... OK. Now you have him! He will tell you that you must have 12-kilo of live fish; do not even blink. Just smile, agree, tell him that he is absolutely right, however you want large fish, fat ones! You want the heads whole, and the fish ground with the skin and bones; he will argue again, but just be nice and very firm. So, you wait until he has told you all the things he thinks you should know, and then ask him politely when you can pick up the order... No, you do not want to wait for it. Do you really want to stand there and see him whack each fish over the head???... Whenever he has the order ready, you will pick it up. Thank him profusely, take his telephone number and walk out! See? Nothing to it...When the order finally lands in your small kitchen, you realize what a mountain of fish you have to deal with! Ignore it for a while, it will not walk away; go and mix a strong gin and tonic, for you - not for the fish.

Take a deep sip and get ready to face a day at home; no, you cannot leave when you finally get it all together and it has to simmer for three hours; what if your gas blows out? Or there is a power cut? You will return home and find a glutinous mess all stuck together and what will you to do with that... So take a day off; devote it to the fish (and that large plastic bag in the fridge which has been collecting hankies all year and needs ironing, but that is another story).

By the way: if you ever do get your fish stuck in a 'glutinous' mess,even after simmering it for three hours and watching it like a hawk, do not panic! Cool it, pour it into a large sieve, let all the sauce drain away and pack the fish into a bread loaf pan. Really pack it in! When it is cold the next day, you "un-mould" it and slice it, and you have new a designer Square Gefilte Fish! The sauce you have to re boil and boil until it¼s reduced. Save in the fridge separately and serve with the designer-fish.

Ok, lets begin. You will need two great big pots; ignore one for the time being; fill the other one half way up with water and put it on to boil. Yes, on high.
Add:
10 chopped onions (yes, by hand; no, you can NOT use the processor even though it can be a long 'chop')
8 large scrubbed carrots sliced into rounds
2 1/2 cups of sugar, (Hey! It's a lot of fish!)
6 tablespoons of salt and as much fresh ground pepper as your hands will allow you to grind!
As soon as this comes to a boil, plop in the washed fish heads into the pot, cover it, lower the flame and let it all simmer for 2 hours.

OK. So, while this is happening, you face this huge container; you dump the chopped fish into it and add:
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 tablespoon of salt and as much freshly ground pepper etc. etc...
4 packs of matzo ball mix (or bread crumbs)
6-chopped onions, (this time processed will do)
10 eggs
Mix this revolting mess with your hand; could use both hands, depends on you. But, one hand is a must, and the mixture should be very well mixed. If you are brave enough to taste it... Ok... never mind! It will be great! Cover well and let it rest in the fridge for the time it takes the sauce to simmer the life out of the heads. Be nice to yourself; why not have another gin and tonic. Your hands will be messy... courage is needed.

So; it¼s two hours later; fish out the heads from the sauce and have them for lunch or chuck them out! They have certainly served their purpose. Divide the sauce into the two pots and let the sauce simmer while you take a deep breath and retrieve the fish from the fridge. It still looks revolting, but never mind. Take a bowl and fill it with cold water; wet your hands, and start making the fish balls. Amount? Should fit into the palm of your hand (up to you really!). Drop them gently into the simmering sauce. You should have between 50 and 60 balls, depending on how much cheating your fishmonger was able to get away with.

You should now have the balls in both pots bubbling happily away. Cover both pots, lower the flame under them as low as it goes and forget about them for 3 hours. It will be difficult, because the smell will drive you crazy, but try. Let the fish cool as much as possible; you want to be able to plunge both hands into the pots and fish out the balls. Very satisfying... Right. All the balls are now nicely settled in 2 very large pans, which will fit, covered, in your fridge; rescue the nicest pieces of carrots for decoration. Combine the sauces in one pot, and bring them to a rolling boil. Let it reduce by half; it should take about 15 minutes. Now, turn off the heat, take a potato masher and smash the sauce; get rid of all your feelings of frustration for being stupid enough to be making this fish to begin with, while crushing the onions and carrots and making a smooth sauce. Store both fish and sauce in the fridge and do not touch it for at least two days! Both you and the fish need a good rest!

There! You dood it! Congratulations. Chag Sameach!