Beefy-things;
My butcher and I had another of our little 'discussions' the other day. I asked him what meat I should take to make a beef-shnitzel...I had no intension of making a shnitzel out of it, but before I could tell him so, he exploded! Why, he wanted to know? Why beef?...The best shnitzel that one can make is out of veal, he pronounced, so why...right, said I, did he have any veal?...well, eh, no; he did not. But, then if not veal, he continued, chicken breast was the next best, and if not, then at least turkey breast...but beef?...he ranted on for another few minutes...when he ran out of breath, and I told him that I want to stuff a slice of beef...he blew up! Ridiculous! Why take a piece of good beef cut it up, and do....then he remembered that I stuffed a whole piece of beef a while back...wiggled a finger at me, and gave up; took out a large hunk of beef and sliced off a nice big slice; showed it to me with a raised eye brow...I said, lovely; asked for 6; when I unpacked it at home, I had the one large slice and 4 small ones...he WAS going to have the last word!

I also bought thinly-sliced smoked-turkey-breast; I was quite annoyed with the small slices, but what to do?... I smashed them a bit, made them larger and thiner, placed a slice of smoked-turkey on top and rolled it up, securing it with a tooth pick. When I had all five, not six, blast the man!...they went into a hot pan with olive oil, searing it first on the tooth-pick side, then on the other, rolling them about a bit; while this was taking place an onion went into the processor, plus mushrooms and mushroom stems from other mushrooms, 2 cloves of garlic and fresh thyme; just 'pulse' it all together; out of the pan came the rolls and into it went the chopped onion mix...a few minutes on the big flame, add quite a bit of the red wine you are sipping, salt, pepper, and mix well; should be a rather thick sauce, right?...place the rolls into the sauce, simmer covered for half an hour, flip them over and give them another half an hour...cool and refrigerate. You see, IF you have no "interaction" with your butcher, this is a very easy recipe, looks great, perfect for dinner-guests, you can make it a few days in advance, and delicious! AND, the rolls sliced cold, look great in the two colors, and make a great lunch or supper with a salad or two...by the way, I served the rolls over a 'mush'...remember we-all once made peppers? Onion into a pan, diced red-yellow-green peppers? a bit of Balsamic vinegar, a bit of brown sugar, a bit of salt and LOTS of pepper?...well, we had that with chicken breasts a few nights before and I had some left over?...found a corn lurking in the fridge, scraped the kernels into the 'mush'...added some cooked wheat from the freezer...left it to heat on a small flame until we were ready to eat... and served it under a rolls...with lots of sauce all over...great! A mixed salad, lots of red wine and chocolate ice cream in strawberry sauce made a perfect dinner. Another very easy 'beefy' dish is made out of chopped beef; make sure its mean-and-lean though! Brush with a bit of oil a large piece of baking paper or plastic, spread out a kilo or so of the ground meat...should look like a 'ready-to-roll-jelly-roll'?...quite thin about a centimeter? ...brush it with soya sauce, and scatter chopped scallions all over...now: roll it gently up, cut into five, or whatever, and place on a very hot pan...you may have enough oil on the meat, and no need for more...quickly on one side then the other, done! Simple, and delicious...I have no idea what to call it...it's not a hamburger nor is it a cabab...so, you can call it whatever you like; it's light and very tasty in a pitta with salad?...with humus?...or on a plate of lentils, plus whatever you have in the fridge or freezer...by the way: do you make your own humus?...I saw somebody add artichoke hearts to the basic chick peas, and all the rest...they claimed it gave an 'extra' oomph to the humus...IF one needs oomph in ones humus?...

This 'beefy' thing above, you can also make with thinly sliced beef; but it has to be good beef, and you must NOT have a butcher like mine...the beef must be sliced very thinly...I can just HEAR my butcher yelling, at the mere thought of me asking him to do something like that...I froze a chunk of meat slightly, and sliced it with a knife...but, it should be sliced thinly with a slicing machine...it's worth the effort, because this is very good and as easy to do as the one above...just place the thin slices on the oiled paper, one slightly overlapping the other, and build it up until you have a good sized rectangle...and, again, do the soya bit and the scallion...or if you have any other ideas, let me know and we will ALL know...roll it up and slice...again, you may have enough oil on the meat, or need a bit more in the pan...that is up to you and your beef...yes! I AM having a gin and soda, and so should you!....l'haim!

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Debbie Morgenstern is the author of "My Life in Israel" and other short stories.
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